There is a very, very special place in my heart for snack cakes. It's the same place where my love of Barbie shoes, Cheetos, and the first Britney Spears album all reside. It's a place that's goes one level deeper than my love of doughnuts, rainbow sprinkles, and Froot Loops. This place is free of judgement and full of partially hydrogenated oils.
When I was young, maybe 11, there was a deli by my mom's office where anything was possible. While at home it was all unsalted almonds and apple slices, at the deli, my sister and I were allowed to buy huge turkey sandwiches slathered in mayo on squishy white buns, chips in every shape and flavor, canned ice tea with an ingredient list a mile long, and most importantly, snack cakes.
Drakes, Hostess, or some off-name brand— all were equally alluring, and equally pumped full of enough preservatives to last for 20 years. I loved 'em pink or orange or coated in chocolate, frosting laid on thick and matte like sugary glass, cream squeezing out with no trace of dairy. You could smell that candy-sweetness wafting off of the shelves, blowing right through the cellophane packaging. Rolls, logs, cupcakes, balls, rings, whatever —I loved them all.
On this multi-part Snack Attack installment, we're going to celebrate snack cakes in all of their artificial glory. So before we begin, I need to hear from the loud and proud masses— what are your favorite snack cakes? Which names awaken ancient feelings of love in your heart? What brands do you still secretly buy sometimes? Have you tried every kind of Little Debbies? Do you know the difference between Yodels and HoHo's? Any Pennsylvania natives who believe it's TastyKakes or bust?
Come to me, my snack-loving friends! Let us revel in the joy of snack cakes together.