Chain Reaction: Dairy Queen's Turtle Brownie Blizzard

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[All photographs unless otherwise noted: Todd Brock]

Everyone loves a turtle*. Apart from those poor unfortunate souls cursed with a nut allergy, I don't know anyone who doesn't dig that chocolate-caramel-pecan trifecta. For the month of June, Dairy Queen has blown the turtle apart and dropped each of those magical elements into their June Blizzard of the Month. And they've added brownies... just to knock you turtle lovers on your shells.

*Technically, the trademark belongs to DeMet's Candy Company, for the candy-with-a-capital-T they created in 1918. But like so many other things, this name's become part of the common vernacular, so I'm going lowercase. DQ's not using actual Turtles candies anyway; just the classic ingredients.

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The first few spoonfuls of the Turtle Brownie Blizzard showcase every player in this star-studded cast: chunks of chewy brownies, a liberal sprinkling of pecan pieces, even the subtle coloring that reminds you of the caramel sauce hand-pumped into this shake. For my money, DQ's caramel sauce—while excellent draped over a sundae—always turns too subtle when mixed into a larger concoction like this. (Or this.) The brownies and pecans, though, co-exist in nice proportion to one another. At least at first.

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Those brownies pieces can vary in size and shape, but most tend to approximate a half-inch cube. Oddly, as my Blizzard slowly started to melt, they seemed to float toward the top, while the pecan pieces made like the Titanic. For me, the result was a treat that was brownie-heavy for the first half, and super-nutty on the back end.

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[Photo: Dairy Queen]

Bottom line: Ads for the June Blizzard of the Month specify a Turtle Brownie "with Pecans." (Although the use of the word turtle really inherently implies pecans from the get-go.) But unless you use that plastic red spoon to churn up your Blizzard from time to time, you may forget they're there until you hit bottom. So make sure to mix for an optimal turtle (with a small T) experience.

About the Author: Todd Brock lives the glamorous life of a stay-at-home freelance writer in the suburbs of Atlanta. Besides being paid to eat cheeseburgers for AHT and pizzas for Slice, he's written and produced over 1,000 hours of television and penned Building Chicken Coops for Dummies. When he grows up, he wants to be either the starting quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys or the drummer for Hootie & the Blowfish. Or both.

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